Do those thousands of unoccupied chairs in the Little Hockey House On The Prairie mean it’s deja vu for the citizenry of Good Ol’ Hometown?
That is to say, are they watching their Winnipeg Jets in the early stages of exiting, Stage South? Again?
Naturally, the inclination is to say, “Naw. No way, José. This isn’t a Spring 1996 redux. Can’t happen.”
After all, one of the men bankrolling the National Hockey League franchise is the 3rd Baron Thomson of Fleet, whose family piggy bank is said to contain in excess of $53 billion American greenbacks, thus a few non-sellouts shouldn’t cause his knees to jerk and put the moving company on red alert.
So what’s with the doomsday rhetoric from some among the rabble?
Well, perhaps you had to be there in April 1996 to understand why more than a few folks suffer a bad case of the heebie-jeebies at the sight of all those empty chairs at 300 Portage Ave.
I mean, it’s one thing to hear scary campfire stories about the Day Of The Long Faces, when Jets 1.0 ceased being Jets 1.0 and swanned off to the Arizona desert, but it can be a haunting bit of business for those who lived through it and now see signs that they consider a warning siren.
The knowledge that the 3rd Baron’s bankroll is backing the Jets ought to provide comfort and chase away angst, but, let’s fact it, the thought of losing coin has caused more than one filthy rich man to pull up stakes and relocate his franchise. Like, when was the last time anyone saw the Dodgers playing baseball at Ebbets Field in Brooklyn? Try 1957, after which Walter O’Malley, a filthy rich guy, loaded the moving vans and went Hollywood, whereupon he made money the way Alfred Hitchock’s thrillers made movie-goers gasp.
O’Malley wasn’t the first filthy rich guy to pull up stakes, and he won’t be the last.
Question is, will the 3rd Baron and his partner, Puck Pontiff Mark Chipman, join that roll call?
“I know that the history is deeply ingrained,” the Puck Pontiff informed Martin Cash of the Winnipeg Free Press this past April, “but we are not going anywhere.”
That was then, scant days before another NHL crusade came to an expected crash-and-burn conclusion for the Jets, but, in the now, Chipman has stared at 9,818 empty chairs for his club’s initial three assignments at the Little Hockey House this month, including an eye-popping 4,099 for Game 2.
Average head count to date: 12,052. By way of comparison, Jets 1.0 attracted an average of 13,012 and 11,316 locals to the rickety Ol’ Barn On Maroons Road in their final two years before defecting to the desert, where the franchise has been a rolling tumbleweed ever since, first setting up shop in Phoenix then Glendale then Tempe and, eventually, I’m guessing Gary Bettman will purchase property in Casa Grande and the Coyotes will one day play in his back yard.
So, given that Chipman’s Jets are doing similar numbers to those that sent Jets 1.0 scurrying, it’s understandable that many among the rabble hear the moving vans cranking up.
But surely it’s a false fear, no? A few thousand empty chairs wouldn’t scare away two filthy rich men like the 3rd Baron and the Puck Pontiff, would they?
Alas, if there’s anything we know about the filthy rich it’s that they don’t like losing money, so even the 3rd Baron (estimated net worth: $53.9 billion) and Puck Pontiff (estimated net worth: $500-$700 million) must have a breaking point, and we can only guess what that magic number is.
What we do know is at least 54 franchise owners in the NHL, NFL, NBA and MLB have bailed on their towns since 1950, and we can assume most were/are filthy rich men or women.
One of them was the aforementioned Walter O’Malley. A New Yorker born and raised, he fought long and hard to keep the Dodgers in Flatbush, but political posturing and economics ruled the day and, despite his lifelong link to Gotham, he became the most despised man in Brooklyn by transplanting Da Bums in Los Angeles.
Similarly, Chipman is a born-and-raised Winnipegger and very few would doubt his passion for Good Ol’ Hometown. He knows all about Jets 1.0 and the final days before their soul-sucking escape to Arizona. He lived it. He was part of a group determined to prevent it. So, the likelihood of him abandoning Jets 2.0 is about the same as Premier Wab Kinew crossing the floor and joining the Tories in the Manitoba Legislature.
Look at it this way: Another filthy rich guy, Alex Meruelo, is making a go of it in the Arizona desert with the original NHL Jets, no matter how many towns tell him to take a hike. Given that his rink, Mullett Arena, accommodates less than 5,000 people and he spends huge coin on legal fees, his losses must be as vast as the Grand Canyon. Yet, he soldiers on. And, compared to the 3rd Baron, he’s a pauper with a net worth of $2 billion.
So don’t expect the 3rd Baron and the Puck Pontiff to tap out.
Interesting read from Paul Friesen of the Winnipeg Sun on Jets attendance. He received feedback from numerous locals, and the main reason people have abandoned the hockey club: They’re PO’d with Chipman and minions at True North Sports + Entertainment. Talk about the economy, the mediocrity of the team, the pandemic, and ticket/concession costs all you like, but nothing rots their socks like bad bedside manner.
My favorite remark re the Jets was discovered on X: “Why does local media do nothing to help promote ticket sales? They just sit up top and make shitty comments.” Incredible that many among the rabble actually believe news snoops are responsible for everything from hockey tickets to Jimmy Fallon’s lame jokes.
One of the soon-to-be-retired Christine Sinclair’s greatest achievements: She actually made male jock journos pay attention to women’s futbol every 3-4 years, during the Olympics and World Cup.
A tip of the bonnet to Jen and the 20somethings, who beat Kaitlyn Lawes, 7-4, this morning in the women’s final of the HearingLife Tour Challenge, the initial stop on this year’s Grand Slam of Curling tour. The W was No. 10 (first since 2017) on the GSOC for the 49-year-old Jennifer Jones, while accomplices Karlee Burgess, 25, Emily Zacharias, 22, and Lauren Lenentine, 23, each collected W No. 1. Well done, ladies.
Nothing changed in bidding for Most Outstanding Player in the Canadian Football League this weekend. Brady Oliveira and Zach Collaros of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers remain the front runners, so don’t listen to the ill-informed voices from east of the Manitoba-Ontario border who’ve been hoodwinked into believing Toronto Argos quarterback Chad Kelly is top dog. If you’re scoring at home, you’ll know that of the seven QBs who’ve tossed the ball at least 300 times, Kelly is 3rd in passing yards, 5th in completions, 3rd in TD tosses, T3rd in fewest interceptions thrown, 4th in completion percentage, and 2nd in QB efficiency. Sorry, but that isn’t an MOP resume, and I’ll assume that voters beyond the Republic of Tranna know it. Oh, Kelly will get the East Division nod, but he’ll have to settle for runnerup to whichever player receives the Winnipeg vote, Oliveira or Collaros. It should be the running back Oliveira.
Young Taylor Allen of the Winnipeg Free Press asked five Winnipeg FC legends—Doug Brown, Paul Robson, Paul Bennett, Willard Reaves, Chris Walby—to name their choice as MOP among the Bombers, and four named Oliveira. Walby was the lone outrider who picked Collaros.
Speaking of the Drab Slab, is it just me, or does anyone else remember a time when they had a sports columnist? They’ve got two hockey beat guys and two football beat guys, but no one is writing a daily column. A sports section without opinion is a pub without pints. A church without prayer. Magnum, P.I. without a mustache.
For the love of all that is sacred in Rouge Football, will someone at TSN please tell Matt Dunigan to put a sock in it when the head official is on his live mic? I don’t need Matty babbling about someone “movin’ the chains” or “gettin’ ‘er done” when the main zebra is explaining penalties, rules and why a coach tossed a challenge flag. I realize Dunigan likes the sound of his own voice (I like him, too), but what part of silence does TSN not understand?
What’s the over/under on how long it takes the Saskatchewan Flatlanders to excuse head coach Craig Dickenson? Three days sounds about right, only because it’ll take that long for all the board members to come in from the fields.
Some of us wondered which NHL player would be first to defy the ban on Pride tape, and it’s Travis Dermott, who wrapped a tiny portion of his hockey stick in rainbow colors on Saturday. So what will the NHL’s unsmiling Pride Police do to punish the Arizona Coyotes defender? Send him to bed without dinner? No dessert until he eats all his veggies? Sure that sounds stupid, but so is the Pride tape ban, which surely is the silliest and dumbest directive in NHL history. All because the grand sum of seven (seven!) out of 700-plus players declined to wear Pride warm-up jerseys in support of the LGBT(etc.) community last season. Lame.
Got a kick out of something Paul Maurice said during the Florida Panthers’ recent whistlestop in Good Ol’ Hometown: “This is a special place, Winnipeg is,” the Panthers coach told the Drab Slab. “It’s not like any other market in the league. It’s a small-market that lost their team. And the people that come here fall in love with the place.” Just wondering: By falling in love with the Peg, did he mean guys like Pierre-Luc Dubois, Patrik Laine, Jacob Trouba, Evander Kane, Jack Roslovic, Kristian Vesalainen, Sami Niku? Also, how many of the Jets live in Good Ol’ Hometown year-round?
Rumor has it that Colorado Avalanche defender Cale Makar broke one of Bobby Orr’s records last week, and apparently it’s true. The brilliant Makar recorded his 250th NHL point in his 241st game, six fewer assignments than No. 4 Bobby Orr. I didn’t know that was allowed.
Apparently I missed the memo, but Dani Rylan Kearney, founder and one-time commissioner of the defunt National Women’s Hockey League/Premier Hockey Federation, is now a pro scout with the Edmonton Oilers.
Here’s something most of us probably missed: Mariah Fujimagari became the first female goaltender to win a game in the ECHL last Saturday. In the blue paint for the Kalamazoo Wings vs. Toledo Walleye, Mariah made 14 saves in the third period and OT, which made her the ‘keeper of record in a 4-3 win. Alas, the Wings released her the next day.
My favorite comment this NHL season comes from Jack Todd, columnist with the Montreal Gazette: “There are, of course, real fans in Toronto. Millions of them. They’re the ones who fill my email and Twitter feed with notes insisting that Ryan Reaves can actually play hockey, if you just pause the game and give him a chance to catch up before Arber Xhekaj knocks him into the last millennium.” I laughed out loud.
In the Department of Old Man Screams at Clouds, Steve Simmons of Postmedia Tranna had this to say about flag football becoming an official Olympic event: “This is silly: Flag football has been added, among other sports, to the Los Angeles Summer Olympics. Putting baseball and softball back in the Games made sense. They never should have left. But flag football? Really?” Wonder what he’ll say if Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelse were to show up to fling it and catch it for Uncle Sam at the 2028 Games in Los Angeles. Simmons probably still wouldn’t like it, but Taylor Swift would give it a thumbs up.
Golf surely is a game for all ages. Just look at the finalists for Golf Manitoba’s female and male amateur player-of-the-year honor: Rhonda Orr, 62, Cala Korman, 18, Addison Kartusch, 17, Jeri Lafleche, 16, Jay Doyle 56, Todd Fanning, 55, Marco Trstenjak 23, Braxton Kuntz 19. Fanning first won the award in 1984.
Oinker of the week award goes to former major leaguer Aubrey Huff, who had this to say about the San Francisco Giants interviewing Alyssa Nakken for the manager job: “To me, I believe a woman…if she’s got dreams and goals, go for it, fine. But in my opinion, there’s nothing but bad things could happen as a woman in a Major League Baseball clubhouse with a bunch of men. Men aren’t hardwired to take orders from a woman. We’re just not. Especially when a woman has never played Major League Baseball with 97 miles per hour coming in at ‘em. How is she gonna gain respect? What about the ’believe all women #MeToo movement’? God forbid she slaps some guy’s ass by accident. Who knows? All kinds of things could go wrong. Nothing good could happen.” Sigh.
And, finally, Wab Kinew becoming the first First Nations premier of a Canadian province made me proud to call myself a Manitoban.
The River City Renegade 
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